


The Worst That Could Happen

by gardnerhill



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Community: watsons_woes, Filk, Gen, Hamilton Lyrics, Prompt Fic, Story: The Final Problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 18:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11652420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardnerhill/pseuds/gardnerhill
Summary: What if Lin-Manuel Miranda had written “The Final Problem”?





	The Worst That Could Happen

**Author's Note:**

> For the JWP 2017 Prompt #29, **Tempting Fate.** "What's the worst that could happen?" This is written to be sung to the tune of [”The Room Where It Happens”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWdBOsk8D7A), a song from the musical _Hamilton_.

[WATSON]  
One professor and the best of men walk into a room

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Diametrically opposed, foes

[WATSON]  
Holmes refuses a compromise – “Go use the outer door –

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Don’t let it hit you where your trows

[COMPANY]  
Goes.”

[WATSON]  
The best of men has angered an unprecedented criminal power  
An army he can’t shake how hard he tries  
(The professor has issued an order: _Hunt him down_ )  
So to the Continent he flies.

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
I don’t really know how it came to this,  
But my gun is in my pocket  
And my life’s with his  
And from the first, this could happen,  
But after all, what is  
The worst that could happen?

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Sherlock Holmes –

[HOLMES]  
The professor is the architect of all that is undetected  
In this great metropolis

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Sherlock Holmes –

[HOLMES]  
The professor said–

[MORIARTY]  
I have agents round the world!

[HOLMES]  
And basically begged me to join with his

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Sherlock Holmes –

[HOLMES]  
I approached Scotland Yard and said  
“I know you hate me, but forty cases end with this.”

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Sherlock Holmes –

[HOLMES]  
So I arranged the setup  
I arranged the dragnet, from this he won’t get up

[WATSON]  
Ha!  
After all, what is

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?

[WATSON]  
After all, what is

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?

No one really knows who was  
Finally at fault  
Moriarty got away  
To plan his last assauIt  
And we both cursed when it happened –  
But after all, what is  
The worst that could happen?

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Meanwhile –

[WATSON]  
Sherlock Holmes is fleeing for his life with me through Switzerland so far from his city

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Meanwhile –

[WATSON]  
We’re both hiking and listening to alpenhorns

[ALPENHORNS BLARE CACOPHONOUSLY]

[WATSON]  
It isn’t pretty  
Some hosteller approaches with a message from London  
And Sherlock Holmes responds when his dragnet is undone

[HOLMES]  
Maybe you should head back to England on your own, I’m dangerous to you since his empire is through

[WATSON]  
Oh no

[HOLMES]  
You ought to go

[WATSON]  
I said no

[HOLMES]  
Wouldn’t you like to go back to your wife and home?

[WATSON]  
After this, I would

[HOLMES]  
Well, I propose you choose safety

[WATSON]  
And you’ll face him on your own?

[HOLMES]  
Well, we’ll see how it goes.  
You’ll go?

[WATSON]  
No!

[COMPANY]  
–what else could be  
The worst that could happen

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
Know what else could be  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?

[WATSON]  
My God!

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
He gave the slip  
But the Moriarty crime-gang is a sinking ship  
It burst when it happened –  
But who could say what is  
The worst that could happen?

[COMPANY]  
Great Detective Sherlock Holmes!

[WATSON]  
What could I say to you to make you believe I was yours to the border?

[COMPANY]  
Great Detective Sherlock Holmes!

[WATSON]  
Did you really know about that message?  
Were you just afraid to give me the order?

[COMPANY]  
Great Detective Sherlock Holmes!

[WATSON]  
Or did you know, even then, it didn’t matter  
Where you two would meet your death

[HOLMES]  
We’re at these steep banks  
We’re in the same spot

[WATSON]  
You’ve got so much to live for

[HOLMES]  
I accept what I’ve got  
If it takes the Professor, it won’t be in vain  
And crime becomes lesser, so it won’t be in vain  
I’ve got fear of him, I’ve got hate for him  
So I’ll stand here and…

[HOLMES AND COMPANY]  
Wait for him, wait for him, wait!

[HOLMES]  
Dear fellow, forgive me  
This spider’s fall is  
Something that’s gonna  
Outlive me

[HOLMES AND COMPANY]  
Go with him, Watson  
Go with him, Watson  
If you stand your ground here  
How far will you fall, son?

[WATSON]  
I…  
After all, what’s  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
I…  
After all, what’s  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?

[WATSON with COMPANY, SIMULTANEOUSLY]  
I…  
After all, what’s  
The worst that could happen?

I…  
After all, what’s the worst…  
Oh  
Oh

‘Cause what’s the worst?  
Cause what’s the worst?

I’ve got to go  
I’ve got to go  
To the Hof  
The Englischer Hof

[COMPANY, SIMULTANEOUSLY with WATSON]  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?  
After all, what is  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen?

[COMPANY]  
There’s nothing but a two-man track

[WATSON]  
Two came here and none came back

[COMPANY]  
That message was a pack of lies –

[WATSON]  
Read his note through watering eyes

[HOLMES]  
I am sorry for the pain I give you  
But you will live.

[WATSON]  
And so I must forgive you

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Oh how it hurts that it happened

[WATSON with COMPANY, SIMULTANEOUSLY]  
‘Cause this is surely  
The worst…

Surely the worst…  
Surely the worst…

Oh this is surely  
The worst that could happen…  
It’s got to be, it’s got to be, it’s gotta be…

 

[COMPANY, SIMULTANEOUSLY with WATSON]  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen  
The worst that could happen

It’s gotta be the very worst  
That could happen

[WATSON]  
The very worst!

[WATSON AND COMPANY]  
Heart, burst!

**Author's Note:**

> My original response to this 7/1/2015 prompt was [A Practical Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4253481).


End file.
